[KAMiKAZE]

WOMENS DIARY
"Dear Viagra Diary"

Day 1
We just celebrated our 35th wedding anniversary with not much to
celebrate. When it came time to re-enact our wedding night, he locked
himself in the bathroom and cried.

Day 2
Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. He's impotent, he says,
and he wants me to be the first to know. Why doesn't he tell me
something I don't know! I mean, he actually thinks I haven't noticed.

Day 3
This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Something must change
soon.

Day 4
I'm hoping for a miracle. It's called Viagra. I told him that if he
takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night.
I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac Pills with the Viagra
Pills, hoping to lift something other than his mood.

Day 5
What absolute bliss!!.

Day 6
Isn't life wonderful. But it's difficult to write while he's
exercising his new found MANHOOD.

Day 7
This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at
Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought
they were talking about him. But, I have to admit it's very nice -- I
don't think I've ever been so happy.

Day 8
I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of
mowing the lawn, he was using his "new" friend as a weed whacker. I'm
also getting a bit sore.

Day 9
No time to write. He might catch me.

Day 10
Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, a girl can only take so much.
What am I going to do?

Day 11
I'm basically being screwed to death here. It's like living with a
Black and Decker drill. I woke up this morning pinned to the bed. He's
a complete PIG.

Day 12
I wish he was gay. I've stopped wearing makeup, cleaning my teeth or
even washing but he still keeps coming after me! Even yawning has
become dangerous...

Day 13
Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to
bed with a scud missile. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops,
sorry" thing again, I'll kill the bastard.

Day 14
i've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even
started dressing like a Nun, but this just seems to make him hornier.
Help me!

Day 15
I think I'll have to kill him. The cat and dog won't go near him and
our friends don't come over any more.

Day 16
the bastard has started to complain about not getting enough. I hope
the bloody thing explodes. I did suggest he might try stopping the
Viagra and going back on Prozac.

Day 17
Switched the pills but it doesn't seem to have made any difference!
Here he comes again!

Day 18
Aaaahhhh! He's back on Prozac. The lazy bastard just sits there in
front of the TV all day with that remote control in his hand and
expects me to do everything for him.

What absolute bliss.

[merc]

Beware of the new sign outside Darren's Place!!


:lol:

[PK]

merc, on Feb 2 2006, 03:39 PM, said:

Beware of the new sign outside Darren's Place!!
:lol:

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I have that sign at home.

Stole it from Darrens house. :D

PK

[merc]

Darren's replacement sign!

[PK]

This one is out the front of Merc's...

[Darren]

You Bastards stop thieving my signs, Im gonna get you :hunter: :hunter: :butcher:

Beware

[merc]

PK2811, on Feb 3 2006, 11:40 AM, said:

This one is out the front of Merc's...

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And you tried to nick it, but i snuck up behind you and revealed everything when you turned around. Usually ppl run away but you didn't?

[PK]

merc, on Feb 3 2006, 02:14 PM, said:

And you tried to nick it, but i snuck up behind you and revealed everything when you turned around. Usually ppl run away but you didn't?
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I was trying to locate what you were trying to show me...

I'm sorry - I couldn't find it...

:lol:

PK

[merc]

PK2811, on Feb 3 2006, 10:29 PM, said:

I was trying to locate what you were trying to show me...

I'm sorry - I couldn't find it...

:lol:

PK
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

I don't think anyone is gonna nick the sign outside your place PK :smileygay: . :bleh:

[PK]

merc, on Feb 4 2006, 02:32 PM, said:

I don't think anyone is gonna nick the sign outside your place PK :smileygay: . :bleh:

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Damn right!

:lol:

PK

[KAMiKAZE]

For all the health "nuts" out there, excuse the pun. Proof that sex is great for burning those excess calories.

Attached File(s)

•  CALORIE.JPG (140.92K)
  Number of downloads: 38

[Darren]

WOW I can't wait till Im over 60. Bar up 2-3 times a day,good workout and cheaper than going to the GYM :sex:

[PK]

darrenp, on Feb 7 2006, 03:32 PM, said:

WOW I can't wait till Im over 60. Bar up 2-3 times a day,good workout and cheaper than going to the GYM :sex:
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

:banned:

[Damo]

what's wrong with that PK...?
the 60yr old thing
or 2-3 times ha ha ha.
I think the gym is cheaper by far,
girls are expensive!!!

this should be in the winge thread :whistling:

:sex:

[PK]

KamaSupra, on Feb 7 2006, 11:44 PM, said:

what's wrong with that PK...?
the 60yr old thing
or 2-3 times ha ha ha.
I think the gym is cheaper by far,
girls are expensive!!!

this should be in the winge thread    :whistling:

:sex:
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

Just wasn't a good mental picture... :puke:

PK

[Damo]

true..
should be more like 80yrs


:sex:

[PK]

KamaSupra, on Feb 7 2006, 11:49 PM, said:

true..
should be more like 80yrs
:sex:
<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

:puke: :puke: :puke:

[Damo]

you love it...
stop pretending you dont ha ha ha


:sex:

[Darren]

Yeah admit it dude we all know you are one twisted puppy :rolleyes:

Oh by the way I dont have to be nice now, I HAVE MY MATS !!!!! :tease:

Cheers mate, Im only kidding.
Once again many thanks to Phil and Gavin for getting and delivering my lovely new mats. Almost as good as Euro Headlights (non foggy ones that is :cry: )

Tah tah
Darren

[PK]

Paddy #1

Paddy the Irishman died in a fire and was burnt pretty badly so the morgue needed someone to identify the body.



His two best friends, Seamus and Sean (also Irishmen), were sent for.



Seamus went in and the mortician pulled back the sheet. Seamus said "Yep, he's burnt pretty bad. Roll him over". So the mortician rolled him over. Seamus looked and said "Nope, it aint Paddy".



The mortician thought that was rather strange and then he brought Sean in to identify the body.



Sean took a look at him and said, "Yup, he's burnt real bad, roll him over. The mortician rolled him over and Sean looked down and said, "No, it ain't Paddy".



The mortician asked, "How can you tell?"



Sean said, "Well, Paddy had two arseholes."



"What............., he had two arseholes???" said the mortician.



"Yup, everyone knew he had two arseholes. Every time we went into town, folks would say, 'Here comes Paddy with them two arseholes....'"